Have you ever felt “stuck” in therapy? Perhaps you understand why you act or feel a certain way, know what you could do to try to change it, but the anxiety or impulse to avoid or distract yourself from the discomfort of ~all the feels~ remains?

Join the club! We’re all folks looking for more profound change in our self-work, and it turns out that avoiding difficult emotions actually makes things worse (*insert your favourite “shocked” meme here*). Here’s why we’re moving towards experiential psychotherapy as therapists, as well as therapy-goers ourselves.

How Cognitive Therapies Can Be Helpful

Cognitive therapies, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), are effective in identifying and framing negative thought patterns. They can be helpful for addressing specific challenges like managing acute anxiety, developing coping strategies for depression, or understanding and modifying unhelpful beliefs (American Psychological Association, 2017). By examining the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, cognitive approaches can help us begin to understand our internal world. However, for folks who have interpersonal challenges, relational trauma, or disconnection from their emotional experience, cognitive therapies alone may not fully address deeper, body-based patterns of distress.

Why Cognitive Therapies Can Fall Short

Cognitive therapies can fall short because of their focus on cognitive processes and less on the emotional experiences that accompany thoughts, memories, and experiences. Research has shown that emotional arousal is an important part of accessing and transforming the parts of our brain that make meaning of our experiences; without integrating what’s happening in our body, we’re missing a key part of how we experience the world (Burum & Goldfried, 2007).

In order to develop the skill of self-regulation, we must be able to pay attention to our bodily experience of emotion, which is something that cognitive therapies lack. When we “intellectualize” our experiences (which can actually be an unconscious defense to avoid feeling difficult emotions!), we get stuck in a place of anxiety, avoidance, and disconnection (Frederickson, n.d.). It makes sense that it initially feels safer to stay in our heads – there’s a good chance that being in our brains instead of our bodies has kept us from emotions we didn’t want to face or feel equipped to deal with. However, here’s the good news: working with an experiential therapist can help you notice those defenses and feel more comfortable with emotional processing.

Why Feeling the Feels Is Important

Unlike CBT, which works on the theory that emotions are a result of our thoughts, experiential therapy is rooted in neuroscientific research which states that incoming information first activates emotional and arousal systems before it can be modified by thought (Van der Kolk, 2006). Our (automatic) reactions to the world around us happen in our body through an unconscious process of scanning our environment for safety or danger, and our ability to link those feelings to our thoughts or behaviours can only happen if and when we are in a regulated nervous system state. Essentially, stimulus our nervous systems deems as threatening – think: not getting a text back, someone cutting you off in traffic, or getting reprimanded by your boss – often does not even reach the higher-level structures in our brain that govern rational, conscious thought (Porges, 2022).

Experiential therapy aims to support clients in uncovering, unlocking, and processing emotions in sessions, moment by moment. By experiencing emotions and being able to organize the experience in both the mind and body, we gain access to the adaptive functions of emotions (e.g., anger as a mobilizing force which we can use to stand up for ourselves when we are being mistreated), improve our relationships with others, and build our capacity for resilience (Sandu, 2020). When we’re able to feel, understand, and move through our emotions, we can better show up with clarity and confidence for ourselves and others.

Meet Franky, a Fictional Client

Franky is a 35-year-old marketing professional who’s been in therapy on and off for a few years. While Franky gained some valuable insights through CBT about their negative thought patterns and their connection to their anxiety, they still feel stuck. Franky struggles to feel authentic in their relationships and finds themselves avoiding emotional intimacy out of fear of rejection. Growing up, Franky experienced a series of relational wounds – their caregivers were emotionally unavailable, leaving them feeling unsupported and misunderstood. Franky’s experiences left their nervous system in a state of hypervigilance, making it hard to trust others or feel safe in close relationships.

When Franky started working with an experiential therapist trained in Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), they began to notice shifts in their nervous system. Instead of focusing on changing their thoughts, Franky’s therapist helped them tune into their body and uncover the underlying emotional pain fueling their anxiety and relational fears. By processing these emotions in a safe and supportive space, Franky was able to recognize the protective defenses they developed to shield themself from emotional pain and develop more awareness of their internal experiences.

Through the therapy process, Franky began to feel more grounded and less reactive in relationships. They developed a stronger sense of what was happening in the body during moments of tension, as well as when they were feeling safe and connected. Gradually, Franky felt more and more open to authentic connections with others without the overwhelming urge to shut down or push people away. Over time, Franky felt empowered to build deeper, more trusting relationships, breaking free from patterns rooted in her early relational experiences.

How to Know If Experiential Therapy is Right for You

If you’re open to exploring a new way of processing your emotions and experiences, experiential therapy may be a good fit for you. It can be hugely beneficial for individuals managing pervasive anxiety, low self-esteem, chronic tension, low mood, or difficulty being vulnerable in relationships. Whether you’re new to therapy or feeling like you’ve plateaued in your therapeutic work, experiential modalities may help you access deeper emotional healing by addressing the root causes of distress in your nervous system. Admittedly, experiential therapy can feel challenging at times – especially for those of us who are not used to identifying or focusing on our emotional experiences – which is why experiential practitioners prioritize creating safety within the body and allowing emotions to surface gradually. To do this deep emotional, relational work, finding an experiential therapist that you vibe with and who’s experienced in approaches that meet your needs is paramount.

How to Connect with An Experiential Therapist

You can connect with a therapist at ANT by perusing our team’s page, and if you need help deciding, you can fill out a quick Meet Your Match form and be connected with a therapist that’s your best fit within 2 business days.

When searching for a therapist, some experiential modalities you may want to explore with a qualified therapist include:

· Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP)

· Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

· Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP)

· Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

· Somatic Experiencing

· Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

· Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

You can also look out for key words in their bios/on their website, such as:

· "Experiential”

· “Somatic”, “body-focused”, or “body-based”

· “Psychodynamic”

· “Relational”, “attachment”, “attachment theory”, or “attachment-focused”

· “Emotions”, “emotion-focused”, or “emotional regulation”

· “Integrative”

· “Nervous system”

· “Embodied” or “embodiment”

If you are already working with a therapist and aren't sure whether they practice from an experiential approach, feel free to ask them!

Experiential modalities have changed my life, both as a therapist and a client. As a therapist, I’m honoured to be a part of the momentous change I see in my clients. When someone feels their way through a challenging experience, the curiosity, confidence, and clarity that is waiting for them on the other side is an absolute joy to witness. As a client, I recognize the deep shifts within myself; emotions that once made me anxious and led to my nervous system shutting down are now free for me to feel, sit with, and come out on the other side feeling calm and connected. It can be challenging work, but the payoff is nothing short of profound.

It’s a new year. Let’s take advantage of the calendar’s fresh start to stop ignoring the body’s signals, start feeling all of the things, and really begin experiencing our humanness – together.

References

American Psychological Association. (2017). What is cognitive behavioral therapy? https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral

Burum, B. A., & Goldfried, M. R. (2007). The centrality of emotion to psychological change. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 14(4), 407–413. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2850.2007.00100.x

Frederickson, J. (n.d.). Intensive short-term dynamic psychotherapy: An introduction. https://istdpinstitute.com/resources/intensive-short-term-dynamic-psychotherapy-an-introduction/

Porges, S. W. (2022). Polyvagal theory: A science of safety. Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience, 16. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnint.2022.871227

Sandu, A. (2020). The importance and limits of experiential psychotherapy. Lumen Philosophy, Humanities and Social Sciences, 8(2), 72–82. https://doi.org/10.18662/lumenphs/8.2/46

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2006). Clinical implications of neuroscience research in PTSD. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1071(1), 1–17. https://doi.org/10.1196/annals.1364.022